THE SPICHER Contingency Plan

A contingency plan is a plan for when something goes wrong.  Some Contingency Plans (like in CIA espionage films that detail things that never happen) describe how to “take care of someone” or “put someone out of commission” in the event they have to be eliminated.  Here’s a few ways to “take care of me”.

1. “Permanently” end the omelet line at ODU.

2. Dispose of me in Japan.  Preferably around Tokyo. 

3. Convince me that Moth-man is totally legit.

4. Make the state of Georgia completely unreachable.

5. Force me into either an enlistment or comission into the United States Marine Corps.

6. Make a legitimate argument that the Talking Fox in “The Fellowship of the Ring” was not the best character in the “Lord of the Rings”.

7. Force me to attempt to beat “I Wanna Be the Guy.”

8. Make CMT the only television channel left in existence.  

9. Force me to live with only stereotypical Californians. 

10. Convince me my name really has been meant to be pronounced Spich-er the entire time.

Today I got a new follower, and though I know exactly who he is, I still feel very much compelled to make a new post, or I’ll at least explain why the breakfast table hasn’t been eating much as of late.

School is not in session, so my comedic genius has been put to use for being pissy about my lack of love life, and making mean-spirited jokes about various people and things on and offline.  

Also I’ve been in San Diego without anyone my age to talk to…except through the internet.  And I’ve been watching Disney Channel for one and half hours every night before I go to bed.

This school year I hope to write and tumble more, let’s hope I do.  

Let’s also hope I have a Disney Channel school year…cause that means I get the girl.

Harry Potter vs. Twilight
 

Fan devotion…

It has been a while since I legitimately wrote anything, particularly in the paragraph-forme, so I thought tonight I would do so.  However, in this pursuit, I found the great challenge of finding a subject.  There’s my life; I could have written about that, however I only enjoy proliferating such depressing tales about the internet so much.  Instead I turned to Facebook to find my writing subject, and to my displeasure I saw that none of my friends are on the same page…it seems as though people’s lives do not clearly trend in predictable ways, and nor do they correlate with one and another.  How inconvenient!   Luckily though, I stayed true to my cause and found something to write about.

Whether you’re a “Twihard” or you’ve been stricken by “Pottermania”, you belong to something called a “fandom”.  Short for “fan dominion” these subcultures are characterized for their mutual interest in a particular item.  Most of the time this item is some form or derivation of multimedia, whether it be the vampiric erotica spawned from the “Twilight” series or the just-short-of-an-epic “Harry Potter” series.  

What strikes my interest in these fandoms (the likes of which I may belong to, most particularly the fandom centering around the works of ESTEEMED author J.R.R. Tolkien) is the hostile attitude members of one fandom have toward another.  Back in the day it used to be the Trekies versus the Star Wars fans, but now they have retired from the shame-soaked battlefield to pursue jobs as middle-aged folk.  Today the main fandom war centers around those who enjoy “Twilight” and “Harry Potter”.  Like all wars it is dirty, mud being slinged by both parties, and like all nerd matters, it is fought in the sanctity of a dark room behind a glowing monitor.

People find it very easy to pick on “Twihards”, for they are accused of destroying social values, creating unrealistic expectations for men, and brainwashing schoolgirls.  Maybe this is true, I have to say that I maybe allured to a person should they sport glowing skin…but I’m getting off track.  I am fine with accusation, but I struggle to cope with this when the accusations come from a fanboy/fangirl; especially one that worships Harry Potter!  For crying out loud, its fans dress up in cloaks and pretend to fly about on broomsticks!  I have seen it, there’s a Quidditch team at my school, and it’s the most ridiculous looking thing I have ever seen!  These people have the gall to berate 13 year old girls for falling in love with a mysterious character with a dark past.  Next time I witness this, I’m going to pull out a picture of Sirius Black or Professor Lupin and watch as they squeal.

Whatever the case, fan devotion is fan devotion.  Stop being a douche, pull out that 700 page tome, and go back to Hogwarts.  

I’m quite surprised this hasn’t been posted yet. It’s a pro adaptation of a play, filmed and portrayed by people this blog constantly references.

concerning Noobs and their foodlike dispositions

Tofu: the different noob.  Just not the same, the Tofu strives to be different even if it seems at times unneccesary. 
-Tofu is a popular meat substitute, but there is a slight taste difference.

Gnocchi: the “worldy” noob.  Unable to be satisfied with life back in the United States, the Gnocchi noob constantly berates its homeland with comparisions of life in other lands.
-Gnocchi can be purchased uncooked or precooked.

Coffee: the coffee noob.  Always brewing, the coffee noob is addicted to coffee.
-While a blood pressure regulator, calcium servings should be upped while drinking coffee.

Phrases 

Phrases that are lol

“What’s weegee?”

“It’s time to cup it up!”

“America!  Get some!  GEEERR!”

“SWEATY ONIX!  Get some!  GEEERRR!”

“Durp.”

“Hey, where’d you get that sandwich?!”

“Ralph/Joey called me.”

“Poke’athalon FOREVER!”

“That guy looks like a noob.” 

“Who’s overflowing with fighting spirit?!”

“What is this, I don’t even.”

“No you.”