concerning Noobs and their foodlike dispositions

Tofu: the different noob.  Just not the same, the Tofu strives to be different even if it seems at times unneccesary. 
-Tofu is a popular meat substitute, but there is a slight taste difference.

Gnocchi: the “worldy” noob.  Unable to be satisfied with life back in the United States, the Gnocchi noob constantly berates its homeland with comparisions of life in other lands.
-Gnocchi can be purchased uncooked or precooked.

Coffee: the coffee noob.  Always brewing, the coffee noob is addicted to coffee.
-While a blood pressure regulator, calcium servings should be upped while drinking coffee.