THE SPICHER Contingency Plan

A contingency plan is a plan for when something goes wrong.  Some Contingency Plans (like in CIA espionage films that detail things that never happen) describe how to “take care of someone” or “put someone out of commission” in the event they have to be eliminated.  Here’s a few ways to “take care of me”.

1. “Permanently” end the omelet line at ODU.

2. Dispose of me in Japan.  Preferably around Tokyo. 

3. Convince me that Moth-man is totally legit.

4. Make the state of Georgia completely unreachable.

5. Force me into either an enlistment or comission into the United States Marine Corps.

6. Make a legitimate argument that the Talking Fox in “The Fellowship of the Ring” was not the best character in the “Lord of the Rings”.

7. Force me to attempt to beat “I Wanna Be the Guy.”

8. Make CMT the only television channel left in existence.  

9. Force me to live with only stereotypical Californians. 

10. Convince me my name really has been meant to be pronounced Spich-er the entire time.